1
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:23,356
People, as company bureaucrat,

2
00:00:23,439 --> 00:00:27,109
I will today be conducting
the annual performance review.

3
00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:29,278
With a twist.

4
00:00:29,570 --> 00:00:30,571
(ALL GASPING)

5
00:00:30,821 --> 00:00:32,782
Oh, no. The firing tie.

6
00:00:32,865 --> 00:00:35,535
Correct. I will be
evaluating each of you,

7
00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:38,162
and the lowest-rated employee,
possibly ZOIDBERG,

8
00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:40,581
will be fired at sundown.
ZOIDBERG.

9
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:41,791
(LAUGHING)

10
00:00:41,999 --> 00:00:43,668
Classic Hermes.

11
00:00:43,751 --> 00:00:47,296
Let the interviews begin. Good
luck, everybody but ZOIDBERG.

12
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,299
My primary duties?

13
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:54,220
Well, I assist the Professor
in whatever important research

14
00:00:54,303 --> 00:00:56,389
he happens to be engaged in.

15
00:00:56,764 --> 00:00:57,765
(SNORING LOUDLY)

16
00:00:58,307 --> 00:01:03,646
Yes, sir, I will be sure to snore
that science lamp right away.

17
00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:06,774
(SNORING)

18
00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:12,947
Now, Leela, couldn't
we just fire you

19
00:01:13,072 --> 00:01:14,949
and have Fry or
Bender fly the ship?

20
00:01:15,032 --> 00:01:18,077
Not if you stand on their
air hose much longer.

21
00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:19,328
Noted.

22
00:01:21,163 --> 00:01:22,164
(BENDER YELLING)

23
00:01:23,499 --> 00:01:26,794
My job? Toilets 'n'
boilers, boilers 'n' toilets.

24
00:01:26,877 --> 00:01:28,671
Plus that one boiling toilet.

25
00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:30,965
Fire me, if fen you dare.

26
00:01:36,512 --> 00:01:39,265
Now, then, while many
of you do half-ass jobs

27
00:01:39,348 --> 00:01:43,936
and the rest do jobs whose ass
ratio ranges from 42% to a mere 11%,

28
00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:47,773
only the most pathetically
useless employee will be fired today.

29
00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:49,942
And that employee is...

30
00:01:51,527 --> 00:01:52,987
Hermes Conrad.

31
00:01:53,070 --> 00:01:54,196
What?
No way!

32
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,281
<i>Hermes, no!</i>

33
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:59,118
Yes. My performance review
proves the main drag on our profit

34
00:01:59,201 --> 00:02:01,579
is the time I waste on
performance reviews.

35
00:02:01,662 --> 00:02:03,372
But you can't
fire yourself now.

36
00:02:03,497 --> 00:02:05,207
We were just getting
to know each other.

37
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:07,501
I've already notified
the central bureaucracy.

38
00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:10,212
(DOORBELL RINGING)
They'll be here two seconds ago.

39
00:02:12,256 --> 00:02:14,258
I suppose you're here
to tell me to pack it in?

40
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,052
Only if you buy
me dinner first.

41
00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:17,178
(LAUGHING)

42
00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:20,890
I'm being fired.

43
00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:23,309
I don't think it's appropriate
to joke around like that.

44
00:02:23,392 --> 00:02:24,644
You're right, Hermes.

45
00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:28,356
Meet Mark 7-G, the
machine who's replacing you.

46
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:31,734
I'm Mark 7-G, the machine
who's replacing you.

47
00:02:31,817 --> 00:02:34,820
(SIGHING) Will you be
conducting an exit interview?

48
00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:37,948
Well, I wouldn't say no to
a little friendly debriefing.

49
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:44,705
Bureaucrat Conrad, you are
ordered to relieve yourself of duty.

50
00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:46,457
Sounds like a party.

51
00:02:49,877 --> 00:02:50,920
Goodbye.

52
00:02:53,130 --> 00:02:54,131
(SIGHING)

53
00:03:02,848 --> 00:03:04,350
Well, this is it.

54
00:03:04,433 --> 00:03:06,310
But I want you to
know working here

55
00:03:06,435 --> 00:03:08,354
has been
the experience of a lifetime.

56
00:03:08,437 --> 00:03:09,980
Off you go.

57
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,194
So, I hear you're a machine...
Ow!

58
00:03:15,277 --> 00:03:16,320
Traitor!

59
00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:18,989
My friend's ample tuchus
is barely out the door,

60
00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:21,492
and you're already schmoozing
up to his replacement?

61
00:03:21,575 --> 00:03:22,868
Um, ZOIDBERG?

62
00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:24,578
I don't think
Hermes really liked you.

63
00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:27,832
In fact, he hated you more
than anyone ever hated anyone.

64
00:03:27,915 --> 00:03:32,128
What, you mean the remarks and
the hits? That was just friend teasing.

65
00:03:32,211 --> 00:03:33,212
Oy.

66
00:03:33,295 --> 00:03:34,547
You don't understand.

67
00:03:34,630 --> 00:03:37,341
He was the only one
who cared enough to insult me.

68
00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,552
I insult you, you fat sack.

69
00:03:39,635 --> 00:03:43,889
Sure, when it's convenient. But
Hermes was always there for me.

70
00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:48,144
And now he's gone, thanks
to you, Mr. Big shot 7-G.

71
00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:52,940
I'll never see Hermes again.

72
00:03:55,901 --> 00:03:58,779
On the bright side,
I'll never see ZOIDBERG again.

73
00:03:59,488 --> 00:04:03,826
There, there, husband. I
made your favorite, curried goat.

74
00:04:03,909 --> 00:04:05,453
It better be spicy.

75
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,757
Well played.

76
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:20,843
Ows...

77
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,429
(PEOPLE GROANING)

78
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:25,681
Ah.

79
00:04:25,806 --> 00:04:26,932
Fire.

80
00:04:27,057 --> 00:04:30,686
(SCREAMING)
It burns! It burns!

81
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:35,191
Not bad.
Needs a little hot sauce.

82
00:04:39,653 --> 00:04:41,614
I just don't know
how we'll get by.

83
00:04:41,697 --> 00:04:44,617
Then I guess this wouldn't be a
good time to tell you that I'm pregnant.

84
00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:45,743
What?

85
00:04:45,826 --> 00:04:46,911
And you're not the father.

86
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:48,162
No!

87
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:49,455
(LAUGHING)

88
00:04:49,538 --> 00:04:51,457
I'm just joking, husband.

89
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:54,460
See now? Things don't seem
so bad anymore, do they?

90
00:04:54,543 --> 00:04:56,545
You're right.
Thank you, LABARBARA.

91
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,923
Oh, also, I wrecked the car.

92
00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:02,843
This here is a mugging!
Hand over your skin.

93
00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:05,679
My ebony splendor?
Me don't think so.

94
00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:08,057
I said hand it over.
I'm hungry!

95
00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:10,518
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

96
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,604
For God's sake, woman,
just give him your skin!

97
00:05:13,687 --> 00:05:15,022
Can't you see he's crazy?

98
00:05:15,105 --> 00:05:18,526
You calling me crazy?

99
00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:21,737
Ain't nothing crazy about
me but my brain. Right, brain?

100
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:26,116
Right! No, not you, right
brain. Right, left brain? Right!

101
00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:28,160
Okay, then.

102
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:29,829
Do something, Hermes.

103
00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:34,041
I can't! When I fight machinery,
machinery always wins!

104
00:05:34,124 --> 00:05:35,835
Freeze, bagwad.

105
00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:41,924
You're under arrest for
attempted epidermicide.

106
00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:45,427
I'm coming for you, man.
Ain't no jail can hold me.

107
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:49,098
That's why you're going straight
to the electromagnetic chair.

108
00:05:49,181 --> 00:05:51,559
And then I'm-a stab it.

109
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:04,613
Stop! It's driving me sane!

110
00:06:10,452 --> 00:06:13,247
Hey, Bender, you should
become an executioner.

111
00:06:13,330 --> 00:06:15,583
You could kill humans
and wear a cool hood.

112
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:18,586
Nah, I like my
victims to know who did it.

113
00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:21,881
Hermes! Boy,
am I indifferent to see you.

114
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:24,633
We need to talk. Alone.

115
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,677
Okay, Hermes. Sure.

116
00:06:31,181 --> 00:06:32,558
Fry, could you come in here

117
00:06:32,641 --> 00:06:35,436
and help me rub on this
new scented body oil?

118
00:06:35,519 --> 00:06:37,646
In a second.
I'm eavesdropping.

119
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:39,231
Please, Fry?

120
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,358
Leela punishes me
when I don't use enough.

121
00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:43,110
I said not now!

122
00:06:43,193 --> 00:06:45,321
Sure, I know a guy.

123
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:54,622
(CLEARS THROAT)

124
00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:56,999
Yuri here runs
the most sanitary

125
00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:59,418
surgical implant
parlor in Filthytown.

126
00:06:59,501 --> 00:07:03,672
So, I hear you're an expert in the
shadowy field of body augmentation.

127
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:06,759
I am expert in shadowy field
of many things.

128
00:07:06,842 --> 00:07:08,928
I need something that'll
make me less inferior

129
00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:11,639
to today's modern machinery.
Can you help me?

130
00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:14,183
No problem.
I prepare operating room.

131
00:07:14,391 --> 00:07:15,392
(CAT MEOWING)

132
00:07:18,687 --> 00:07:21,857
Oh, honey, I'm home!
(DOOR OPENING)

133
00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:25,319
Pops?

134
00:07:25,402 --> 00:07:27,154
Is that
a harpoon in your chest?

135
00:07:27,237 --> 00:07:29,573
Yes. And I'm happy to see you.

136
00:07:40,584 --> 00:07:42,044
And the best part is,

137
00:07:42,127 --> 00:07:45,589
the whole package fits neatly in the
space where my giblets used to be.

138
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:49,843
I'm kind of a harpoon snob, and
let me say, that thing is gorgeous.

139
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:52,346
But do you really
need chest artillery?

140
00:07:52,429 --> 00:07:53,639
It's not just a weapon.

141
00:07:53,722 --> 00:07:56,642
It's the bureaucrat's
best friend. Observe.

142
00:07:56,725 --> 00:07:58,811
Oh, Mark 7-G?

143
00:07:58,894 --> 00:08:02,564
Would you mind fetching
that carton from the top shelf?

144
00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:06,360
(GRUNTING)

145
00:08:07,861 --> 00:08:09,238
Pitiful and sickening.

146
00:08:09,321 --> 00:08:10,739
Okay, little man,

147
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:13,409
let a professional bureaucrat
show you how it's done.

148
00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:19,707
My best wasn't good enough.

149
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:22,042
I'll need my
personnel file, please.

150
00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:29,800
Welcome back, old friend.
I missed you terribly.

151
00:08:29,883 --> 00:08:33,053
You do everything terribly.
And I'm not your friend.

152
00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:36,765
Good old Hermes.

153
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:39,560
When he stops insulting,
that's when I worry.

154
00:08:39,643 --> 00:08:40,853
Oh, dear!

155
00:08:40,936 --> 00:08:44,606
I was leaning over the sink
eating pureed clams

156
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:47,359
when my teeth
fell in the disposal.

157
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,987
Scruffy,
could you retrieve them?

158
00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:53,115
'Taint a boiler nor a toilet.
Pass.

159
00:08:54,324 --> 00:08:56,035
I'll fetch my hand tools.

160
00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:57,911
Hand tools?
Why don't you get an

161
00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:59,830
extendo-arm implant,
like mine?

162
00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:05,252
Oh, no. No more implants.

163
00:09:05,335 --> 00:09:08,130
I don't want to end up a cold,
emotionless machine like you.

164
00:09:08,213 --> 00:09:09,506
That's sweet, Hermes.

165
00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:12,217
Maybe I should
get an extendo-arm.

166
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:21,560
How long will it take to
install an extendo-arm?

167
00:09:21,643 --> 00:09:24,146
I have golf game
in half-hour, so

168
00:09:24,229 --> 00:09:25,272
half-hour.

169
00:09:33,572 --> 00:09:34,990
Thank you, Hermes.

170
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,451
I don't know. It seems
like a lot of trouble

171
00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:39,912
to cut off your arm
just to snake a drain.

172
00:09:39,995 --> 00:09:41,830
It's not just a drain snake.

173
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:44,541
It comes with a set of
interchangeable accessories.

174
00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:45,959
Jackhammer,

175
00:09:46,835 --> 00:09:50,005
vegetable peeler,
pipe-bending jig.

176
00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:52,382
A machine that can bend?
No way.

177
00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:54,510
But, Hermes,
old friend, didn't you say

178
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:56,637
you were through
with the implants?

179
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:58,806
Oh, don't be
such a spoilsport.

180
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:01,141
Such a mild insult.

181
00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:03,769
That's not my Hermes.
Speaking of,

182
00:10:03,852 --> 00:10:06,605
what happened to your
cut-off body parts, anyhow?

183
00:10:06,688 --> 00:10:07,898
Right here.

184
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:11,110
I was going to donate them
to the Salvation Air Force,

185
00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:12,861
but they're starting to rot.

186
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:16,949
Then I'll just take them and,
throw them away, shall I, why not?

187
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:19,118
(MAKING HIGH-PITCHED SOUNDS)

188
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:29,128
So, friend, welcome to my
home. I'm very proud of it.

189
00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:31,505
But I want to
hear what you think.

190
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:34,842
"Oh, mon, I'm Hermes,
and I think it stinks in here

191
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:38,053
"like a green snake, or
something else that's Jamaican."

192
00:10:39,179 --> 00:10:41,682
Good one at my expense,
Hermes.

193
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:48,897
Well, I must admit
it's not bad.

194
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:52,317
And it will cut two or three hours
a day off my cornrowing routine.

195
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:55,112
Yes, our lives will
never be the same.

196
00:10:56,196 --> 00:10:58,157
Darn it! I'll be right back.

197
00:11:00,075 --> 00:11:01,076
(SNORING)

198
00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:08,792
Hermes, oh, you foolish man,
what do you need a Cylon eye for?

199
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:10,669
Now, calm down, dear.

200
00:11:10,752 --> 00:11:14,173
You know, you look
even hotter in infrared.

201
00:11:21,638 --> 00:11:24,975
Husband, some things were
not meant to be cylonned.

202
00:11:25,058 --> 00:11:28,145
Now, you must promise me you
won't be getting any more upgrades.

203
00:11:28,228 --> 00:11:29,605
I promise.

204
00:11:36,236 --> 00:11:37,446
ALL: Wow.

205
00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:47,581
Nice shiny metal ass, Hermes.

206
00:11:48,123 --> 00:11:49,124
BENDER: But...

207
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,919
So, with all these implants,
what exactly

208
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,213
is the difference
between you and a robot?

209
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:57,382
I still have one thing
no robot shall ever have.

210
00:11:57,466 --> 00:12:00,844
A good old
flesh-and-blood human brain.

211
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,888
Yes, a big, smart brain.

212
00:12:02,971 --> 00:12:05,891
Not like dum-dum ZOIDBERG,
right, Hermes? Right?

213
00:12:05,974 --> 00:12:09,311
Mecha-Hermes has no interest
in such nonsense.

214
00:12:14,566 --> 00:12:18,070
Mr. Conrad, did you remember
to save the trimmings for me?

215
00:12:18,153 --> 00:12:20,113
Yes, yes, Doctor. Right here.

216
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:27,371
Wait. You're not eating my
discarded flesh, are you?

217
00:12:27,454 --> 00:12:29,581
How could you even
ask such a thing?

218
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:32,876
Of course I tried eating you,
but your flesh was too spicy.

219
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,879
Thanks to years of La Barbara's
curried goat, no doubt.

220
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:38,757
But my Mecha-stomach
has no need of goat.

221
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,718
Mecha-Hermes has spoken!

222
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,262
Mecha-Hermes
still wants to know

223
00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:44,721
what you're doing
with his pieces.

224
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:47,641
Something wonderful.

225
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:52,729
Give it way up for
Dr. ZOIDBERG and little Hermes.

226
00:12:53,188 --> 00:12:54,189
(CHEERING)

227
00:12:54,439 --> 00:12:55,774
Hello. Hello.

228
00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:01,822
So, little Hermes, did you
hear I've taken up running?

229
00:13:01,905 --> 00:13:05,534
(IN HERMES' VOICE) "Yeah, from
restaurant to restaurant. Ho-ho, mon.

230
00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:07,077
(CROWD LAUGHING)

231
00:13:08,745 --> 00:13:11,206
"Seriously, though,
have you lost weight?"

232
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:12,332
Yes.

233
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:14,376
"Looks like you
found it again."

234
00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:20,841
Oh, boy. That was
quite a zinger, old friend.

235
00:13:20,924 --> 00:13:22,009
“I'm not your friend.

236
00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:24,970
"I'm out of here the second
you let go of my bowels."

237
00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:26,221
(ENTHUSIASTIC LAUGHTER)

238
00:13:26,888 --> 00:13:29,683
Thank you, ladies and
gentlemen. I'll be here all week.

239
00:13:29,766 --> 00:13:31,810
"You've been warned, people."

240
00:13:32,644 --> 00:13:33,895
He's good.

241
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:36,773
I can only see one of his
four mouth tendrils moving.

242
00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:39,484
"So, Mr. Conrad,
did you enjoy the show?"

243
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:40,986
Alas, no.

244
00:13:41,069 --> 00:13:44,239
Seeing what I once was
filed me with regret.

245
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,575
You could always
undo your implants.

246
00:13:46,658 --> 00:13:49,161
Regret that I still
have one human part.

247
00:13:49,244 --> 00:13:54,666
That meat puppet disgusts me.
It's time for the ultimate upgrade.

248
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:57,336
But the only thing you
haven't upgraded IS your brain.

249
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:58,795
Exactly.

250
00:13:59,087 --> 00:14:00,088
(ALL GASPING)

251
00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:02,257
Oops.

252
00:14:03,842 --> 00:14:08,680
Robot brain implant? Never. No
one in right mind would do that.

253
00:14:09,097 --> 00:14:10,098
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

254
00:14:21,401 --> 00:14:24,071
A freshly dug robot grave.

255
00:14:24,279 --> 00:14:26,073
Let's exhume-a-zoom-zoom.

256
00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:27,699
Step aside.

257
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:37,209
Bing-reka! The brain circuit.

258
00:14:37,292 --> 00:14:40,170
Come, fellows.
Let's go home and install it.

259
00:14:40,253 --> 00:14:43,965
Enjoy eternity without your
brain, anonymous dead robot.

260
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,217
(BENDER CHUCKLING)

261
00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:03,610
So, little Hermes, are you ready
to watch some brain surgery?

262
00:15:03,693 --> 00:15:06,947
“I'm ready to shoot myself
if it'll get me off your lap."

263
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:13,578
Open the dome and unleash
the power of the heavens!

264
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:24,256
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

265
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:32,097
Ah, now I can see what I'm
doing. Commence the operation!

266
00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:34,516
Terminate the operation.

267
00:15:34,599 --> 00:15:36,184
LABARBARA? Dwight?

268
00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:38,979
I just got an urgent
text from little Hermes.

269
00:15:39,062 --> 00:15:42,858
You can't do this thing. You don't
even know whose brain that is.

270
00:15:42,941 --> 00:15:44,109
It doesn't matter.

271
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:47,612
Any robot brain will improve my
fitness as a husband and father.

272
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:49,865
You can't be
a husband and father

273
00:15:50,031 --> 00:15:52,242
if you don't
have a wife and son.

274
00:15:52,325 --> 00:15:53,452
Wait.

275
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:56,163
I care about you
too much to lose you.

276
00:15:56,788 --> 00:16:00,584
But my new robot brain won't.
Commence the operation.

277
00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:01,668
(ALL GASPING)

278
00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:04,629
Well you'll have to commence
it without me, Hermes.

279
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:06,631
And commence
living without me.

280
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:09,593
Because I will commence
divorce proceedings.

281
00:16:09,676 --> 00:16:12,262
Oh, I hope to God
I'm using that word correctly.

282
00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:17,934
Oh, I can't do this, Hermes.

283
00:16:18,101 --> 00:16:20,645
Your wife's moving plea
has made me realize

284
00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:22,939
you might have
litigious survivors.

285
00:16:23,023 --> 00:16:24,649
Oh, thank you, Professor.

286
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:25,817
Come now.

287
00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:28,236
Let's go try that Korean noodle
place you were telling me about.

288
00:16:30,113 --> 00:16:34,117
There will be no noodles
until the operation is complete.

289
00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:42,709
You can't force me to operate.

290
00:16:42,792 --> 00:16:45,629
Maybe not, but perhaps
I can encourage you

291
00:16:45,712 --> 00:16:47,589
with my encouragement drill.

292
00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:54,346
Wait. I'll perform
the surgery.

293
00:16:54,429 --> 00:16:56,848
You? With those clumsy claws?

294
00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:58,016
It's true, old friend.

295
00:16:58,099 --> 00:17:00,894
My claws are too clumsy
for such delicate work.

296
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:03,855
"But mine aren't.

297
00:17:05,273 --> 00:17:07,692
"You, mon,
give me that robot brain."

298
00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:10,028
And you, metal guy, lie down.

299
00:17:10,111 --> 00:17:13,365
ZOIDBERG, this makes no sense.
Why are you helping him?

300
00:17:13,448 --> 00:17:14,950
And what's that catchy beat?
(ROCK BEAT BEGINNING)

301
00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:16,618
I'll tell you. Two, three...

302
00:17:16,701 --> 00:17:19,996
I was lonesome for my friend
a minute ago

303
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,750
When a happy thought
dispelled my woe

304
00:17:23,833 --> 00:17:26,878
And I felt perhaps he'd be
a bit less dull

305
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:30,090
"If I sliced up
his cyborg skull”

306
00:17:30,173 --> 00:17:31,550
He wants a brain

307
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:33,552
He wants a robot brain

308
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:34,886
Another brain

309
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,305
Let's see if he feels pain

310
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:38,640
A brand-new brain

311
00:17:38,723 --> 00:17:40,642
It might drive him insane

312
00:17:40,725 --> 00:17:42,227
He wants a brain

313
00:17:42,310 --> 00:17:44,145
He wants a robot brain

314
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:47,399
Wah-ooh
Wah-wah-ooh

315
00:17:50,068 --> 00:17:51,486
Does anyone
else find it freaky

316
00:17:51,611 --> 00:17:54,155
that ZOIDBERG is singing
harmony with himself?

317
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:55,824
Oh, loosen up, Amy.

318
00:17:55,907 --> 00:17:58,201
My condolences, LABARBARA.

319
00:17:58,285 --> 00:18:00,078
I hope you find some comfort

320
00:18:00,161 --> 00:18:03,290
in staring at this throbbing
mass of nerve tissue.

321
00:18:04,499 --> 00:18:06,042
Oh, he's gone!

322
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:08,420
Oh, ZOIDBERG,
what have you done?

323
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:12,507
I'll tell you what I've done.
I've brought your husband back.

324
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:24,144
(ALL GASPING)

325
00:18:24,227 --> 00:18:25,395
Pops.

326
00:18:25,478 --> 00:18:27,939
Sweet reawakening'
of me, a Jamaican-in.

327
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,733
Hermes, you're alive.

328
00:18:29,816 --> 00:18:31,651
And practically rhyming.

329
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:35,739
Wife, Son, I am so sorry.

330
00:18:35,822 --> 00:18:39,117
Once I started upgrading
myself, I lost all control.

331
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,619
But I see now

332
00:18:40,702 --> 00:18:43,705
that if you can't be man
enough with your own parts,

333
00:18:43,788 --> 00:18:45,999
no amount of
machinery will help.

334
00:18:47,751 --> 00:18:48,752
(LABARBARA MOANING)

335
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:52,172
(IN ROBERTO'S VOICE)
Not so fast.

336
00:18:52,547 --> 00:18:53,548
(ALL GASPING)

337
00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:55,425
But faster than that!

338
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,184
It's that insane robot,
Roberto.

339
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:08,396
Quick, Hermes, the keys.

340
00:19:08,521 --> 00:19:10,565
I left them in my other body.

341
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:11,775
Oh, yeah.

342
00:19:11,858 --> 00:19:15,737
And I'm-a stick them in your
pancreas till 1 find one that opens it.

343
00:19:16,112 --> 00:19:17,113
(ROBERTO SCREAMING)

344
00:19:27,832 --> 00:19:31,961
I'm gonna peel off your skin
and eat it like pencil shavings.

345
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,925
Thank God ZOIDBERG
didn't reattach my nerves.

346
00:19:40,178 --> 00:19:42,847
That's tasty. Too tasty.

347
00:19:43,264 --> 00:19:44,265
(SCREAMING)

348
00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:47,977
It burns. It... It burns!

349
00:19:48,561 --> 00:19:49,688
What's happening?

350
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:51,147
The spicy curried goat.

351
00:19:51,272 --> 00:19:53,358
Hermes' skin is so
saturated with it

352
00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:55,610
that it's
dissolving the bad robot.

353
00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:02,492
In the end, all his implants

354
00:20:02,575 --> 00:20:05,161
were no match for my wife's
reckless seasoning.

355
00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:07,997
Now, husband, don't you
think you owe ZOIDBERG

356
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:10,667
a thank-you for
saving you from yourself?

357
00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:13,253
But I hate him.

358
00:20:13,336 --> 00:20:15,672
Honey, we all do.
But fair is fair.

359
00:20:19,175 --> 00:20:22,637
ZOIDBERG, I... I know
we have never been friends,

360
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,306
but I appreciate what you did.

361
00:20:25,890 --> 00:20:27,308
Thank you.

362
00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,145
Never been friends?

363
00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:33,273
Ouch! What a zinger.

364
00:20:33,356 --> 00:20:36,609
Well, here's one for you,
Mr. Not-my-friend Conrad.

365
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,320
You acted like a big jerk.

366
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:41,740
You were selfish and stupid,
and you don't deserve

367
00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:44,534
a wife like LABARBARA
or a friend like me.

368
00:20:45,076 --> 00:20:46,077
(LAUGHING)

369
00:20:46,536 --> 00:20:48,455
It's funny because it's mean.

370
00:20:48,538 --> 00:20:52,041
Thank you, ladies and
gentlemen. I'll be here forever.

371
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:56,254
Wah-ooh
Wah-wah-ooh

372
00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:58,548
He's doing it again.